Absurdly astute, Elliot Mason composes and performs hilarious songs about the humdrum of life. Utterly charming, often bewildering and endlessly amusing, he is both a skilled musician and talented comic with inimitable wit and awesome hair.
Elliot Mason, how lovely to have you here. Is that your real name or a glamorous stage persona?
Hello Paul, wow I didn’t realise you had such an enormous office right in the centre of Manhattan , this place is amazing! Are those real elephants over there? Anyway, which microphone do I speak into? I’ll use this one, 1,2,1,2. Now then, my real name is The Great Shebazzbo Megadomdom XII but I thought it sounded a bit drab, so after months of soul searching, a couple of sandwiches and a referendum or two I decided to change it to the much sexier and attention-grabbing Elliot Mason and I’ve never looked back.
I understand you fell into the cabaret scene? Have you successfully sued?
I didn’t even know there was a scene to fall into before I fell into it but I’m mighty glad I did. It’s full of interesting and mega-talented nutcases of the lovely variety and I get to talk to them about stuff, and sometimes they talk back to me if I promise not to look at them directly in the eye.
Do you get hecklers? How do you deal with them?
It’s quite difficult to heckle during a song unless you’re really persistent about it so I don’t get too many, touch wood. That table is made of wood isn’t it? Chip-board you say?! Really? Bloody hell you’d never think so would you. It’s amazing what they can do these days isn’t it?! hahaha. Oh dear. *wipes away a tear*
Anyway, when I started out doing this comedy stuff I purposefully never left any gaps in my warblings so that if someone did try to heckle me they’d have to remember the bits they didn’t agree with and shout them out at the end of my set. Fortunately very few people had the foresight to bring along a pad and a pen to jot them down so I was usually alright.
Nowadays if someone heckles me I just have one of my people follow them into the car park and tweak their knee caps off.
I believe you aren’t happy with Jif changing its name to Cif. I am lead to believe this is for the Spanish amongst us, so you must be very angry with them?
I was upset for a while but I could never stay angry at a country that invented the barocyclonometer. I mean, who could?
Chicken or Beef?
I’m glad you asked me that Paul and yes you’re right I do have a new album coming out soon how lovely of you to mention it. It’s called ‘Life is like a movie’ and it’s taken me four years to finish. The Beatles recorded twelve albums in eight years so I think that tells you how good my album is going to be. Where will it available you say? Oh Paul, you are funny. You’ll be able to get it from elliot-mason.co.uk and iTunes of course. Anyway, to go back to your original question I’d snog the chicken and marry the beef.
What’s the biggest difference between the cabaret and comedy scene?
I think it’s the amount of wine isn’t it?
Has your mother never told you that if the wind changes your face will stay like that?
Stay like what? Right that’s it, this interview’s over. *storms off onto diamond-encrusted helipad and waits for Dad to pick him up*